Listen Very Carefully - The ’Allo ’Allo! Podcast

Despite having no memory of this episode at all, Kim, Guy and Richard soon warm up to it, and all agree it is one of the very best episodes in the entire series. There is a surprise appearance from the late, great Sam Kelly, reprising his role as Hans – only this time he is working for British Intelligence, and the whole episode is helped along by some stirling performaces from a range of guest artists. Definitely one to watch.

Any mention of monks in this show is sure to feature scourging, and the writers do not disappoint. Helga arrives on a large tricycle at the monastery where Flick and von Smallhausen are held captive. The Germans have awarded René a medal for bravery, which does not make him popular in the town – even the pigeons have taken against him, and have rewarded Edith with an unpleasant deposit. The Airmen look especially fetching this week as cleaning ladies in the café.

Now that the old couple have finally landed back on earth, they find themselves trapped behind a wall and have to be released by Monsieur Alphonse with some gelignite. Flick and von Smallhausen get caught in the crossfire and are blown to shreds once again. Gruber and von Flockenstuffen have cpmpleted the improvements to the Colonel’s office, and it is now a delightful shade of coral pink. Kim delivers two perfect Rose Hill impressions and is appointed our official Fanny impersonator. Something of a German-heavy episode this week – not much of the people in the café, and no sign at all of Michelle of the Resistance. But fear not, they’ll soon be back.

Welcome once again to Kim’s kitchen, where we settle in to watch the start of a new season – a year on from the last podcast. We take our hats off to the new writer, Paul Adam, who has taken over from David Croft for this series. The old couple, Fanny and Ernest, come down to earth after floating away on their bed, powered by a helium balloon, then take off on a stolen motorbike. Gruber and the high camp vom Flockenstuffen decide to redecorate the Colonel’s office – in a pleasing shade of pink. Kim accuses Richard of being interesting – for the second time in two weeks. Kim gets into trouble on the Swansea-Cork Ferry.

As Fanny and Ernest are towed out of the church – still in their bed – after their wedding, the two airmen are looking as lovely as ever in their bridesmaids’ dresses and moustaches. Kim shows us a delightful model of Flick and Helga, made by a fan. As usual, there is much talk of the road trip to Norfolk, which had so far not materialised, but looks to be getting closer all the time. Von Smallhausen, dressed as a Boy Scout, forgets to limp. Plenty of double entendres, as usual, so as not to disappoint the loyal followers. An appearance from Ken Morley, as the sinister and camp von Flockenstuffen is guaranteed to lift the spirits.

This week’s pod celebrates the outstanding comic talent of Derek Royle, who plays Ernest Leclerc, the brother of Roger, played superbly by the late Jack Haig. We are treated to the usual Gruber back passage references. Von Smallhausen is starting to get a bit above himself – making hay while Helga is away. Another stunning corset for Helga, as she joins Herr Flick in pratfalls in the dungeon. Crabtree is enjoying life with his lovely girlfriend – but will it last? René looks on as Edith flagellates herself with a bunch of irises. 

The sun is shining and the door to the garden is wide open. Just the weather for a cooling glass of Prosecco. Around Kim's table, the chat, as ever, covers the whereabouts of the famous painting. Plenty of shenanigans as René collaborates with the Germans in trying to convert the stolen gold into cash, including masquerading as a priest in the confessional. Crabtree gets a girlfriend, Derek Royle as Ernest Leclerc goes from strength to strength, the waitresses have one of their famous fights, and – best of all – there is no singing from Edith.

This week’s frlolics in Nouvion, witnessed by Kim, Guy and Richard, involve a secret winking code between Gruber and René. Flick and von Smallhausen, after being arrested, are forced to drag their chains and carry their balls. Helga has another spectacular bedroom scene – this time with Bertorelli – which does not please Herr Flick one bit. Potty Corner is officially launched, with a limerick each from Guy and Richard.

More merriment in Kim’s kitchen. Laughs aplenty in Fanny’s bedroom as Michelle sets up a radio disguised as a dummy buzzard. Some might say it was not the only buzzard in the room... There is a lot of splashing about as the whole town takes to the local lake for another of the Resistance’s hare-brained schemes. Richard recounts a schoolboy prank, involving a pack of beagles and an aniseed trail. 

Rene opens the episode with a massage. As his ankles disapear behind is ears, who should come in but – you guessed it – Lieutenant Gruber. Outstanding makeup effects as the café staff disguise themselves with the help of the make-up artists of the horror star Boris Karloff. Georgio the cat makes an appearance in Kim's kitchen, while two lovebirds canoodle beak to beak outside the window. Lots of fun with the Italian rabble, as ever, and Kim admits to a slight pash for one of them.

It’s anyone's guess why this episode is called The Gestapo for the High Jump, as there is very little Gestapo, and even less high jumping, but perhaps there were once some scenes that have since  been cut. Interspersed with behind-the-scenes yarns, the Peasants share fond memories of the days when domestic holidays were the norm, and en-suite batrooms were not. Listen out for some observations on possible upstaging moments...

The more sharp-eyed of our viewers will notice change in the appearance of Monsieur Leclerc. With the loss of Jack Haig between series, his place has been taken by the magnificent farceur, Derek Royle, in the role of his brother, Ernest, and a mighty fine job he makes of it. A high spot of this episode is the magnificent swahbuckling sword fight between Royle and Kenneth Connor, which showcasess the expert phyisicality that made these two actors famous. Another corset for Helga, which Kim admits to having in her house, but refuses to model it for Guy and Richard. She also swears the she did not purloin it from the set. Yeah right...

Talk in the kitchen turns, as it must from time to time, to sausages – Gorden’s handling of them, and the fact that the saucy innuendo and naughty sight gags went over the heads of the children watching. When Gruber commandeers Helga’s uniform, the patrons of the café are treated to another of her spectacular corsets.

Gathered once more around the kitchen table, the talk turns to Kim’s vexation, lasting 40 years, at being cut from this episode, while Richard learns that he too has been excised. But they manage to put on a brave face, and are soon chuckling at Monsieur Alphonse, whose dicky ticker and tricky truss are put under strain as the ladies of the cafe appear in their scanties. Gruber does not relish searching under Fanny’s bedclothes for the Enigma machine, any more than does Mimi at being dropped down a sewer.

Interesting episode this week, as David Croft aand Jeremy Lloyd stood aside to welcome two new writers – John Chapman and Ian Davidson. The trio discuss slight differences in style, and the verdict overall is deemed to be positive. Much hilarity at Kim’s kitchen table as Guy treats us to impressions of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and a horse. Gorden deftly covers a minor setback, and the team discuss coping with things that go wrong during live theatre performances.

As we reach the 50th episode, agreement is unanimous that the writers Croft and Lloyd are on top form. At a ball for the generals, attended by all the regular characters, Mimi is hidden in a double bass case, while Yvette hides with Monsieur Alphonse in the piano – forcing his dicky ticker into overdrive. Flick and von Smallhausen, disguised as maids, display their pretty ankles, and René risks being fingered for the disappearance of Gruber’s little tank. In the Land of Pod, Kim gets a panto babe caught between her legs.