Listen Very Carefully - The ’Allo ’Allo! Podcast

More nuggets from Kim’s kitchen, as the trio mull over the events of the double-length Christmas Special – involving attempts from all sides to bump off General von Klinkerhoffen. Sam Kelly receives a well-deserved round of applause from the studio audience for his virtuoso speech about “the pill in the till, the drug in the jug and the Gateau from the Chateau”. There is talk of a crashing air balloon, screwing down a billiard table, and Gorden’s graceful handling of props. A mischievous prank by Kim and Richard at the George Hotel backfires badly on them.

Now that René has recovered the painting, Michelle plans to catapult the airman away in a glider, using elastic from men's braces. But collecting them in the dead of night presents yet another problem for the long-suffering café owner. A runaway steamroller flattens Herr Flick's staff car, which is only insured third-party. As the village clock chimes eight outside Kim' cottage, it's time for our hosts to crack open the gin.

Rene is busy in the cellar, bricking up the painting, while Flick and Helga have their first date in the back room. But this episode is well out of order – it was the third one of the series, instead of the 18th, but who really cares anyway? The Big Boobies get their first mention, accompanied by an on-air mime, and the team are impressed by the modest grace of Carmen's movement.

Maria is sent to Gruber's quarters at the chateau with the real Fallen Madonna for him to copy, but is intercepted by von Klinkerhoffen. René and Edith, and the Colonel and Hans infiltrate the chateau to steal back the painting, and a suit of armour with a distinctive limp joins the trail. Helga performs the strip of a lifetime – causing Kim to put her back out.

Monsieur Alphonse’s ransom loan is repaid in notes forged by Monsieur Leclerc, as the Resistance smuggle out the motor from General von Klinkerhoffen's lawn mower in Madame Fanny's wheelchair. Gruber’s little tank makes its debut with its feeble little horn, while its owner is delivered to Herr Flick’s cellar rolled up in a carpet. Anna Stubley gets a special mention for her magnificent costumes, Sherry Louise Plant makes her debut as Lisette, and Guy remarks on the quality of Gorden’s opening. 

Rene delivers his opening monologue from the bath, Monsieur Alfonse slurps his soup and passes out, Madame Fanny fits four in her bed, and Paul Cooper makes his debut as Herr Flick’s tailor. When the knockwurst is snatched by Gruber’s dog, the chase turns into one of the most outlandish horizon shots of the series.

Once again, the team claims this as a favourite episode. The classic dungeon scene features Herr Flick on his mighty organ, as Helga lets down her hair and turns the wheel to bring the ceiling down on their captives. Gorden supplies a severed head in the rehearsal room, and John D Collins knocks himself out and breaks both ankles. Meanwhile, Monsieur Alphonse’s wooing of Madame Edith continues unabated.

More fun and laughter as we discover Edith selling tickets to the duel between Rene and Monsieur Alphonse, Helga trying to eat peas while handcuffed, share tales of von Smallhausen’s beginnings in a strip club, and hear of the origins of a famous catchphrase.

This week’s pod introduces our first surprise guest – guaranteed to entertain.

Monsieur Alphonse challenges Rene to a duel, Monsieur Leclerc nicks knickers, and a cow rides by on a tandem.

This week’s round-table discussion brings news of a famous fan, while Guy pulls a face for the listeners and the King calls Kim a ghastly creature.

The talk this week around Kim's table turns to the three Fallen Madonnas and all their attributes, and Edith's search for a new husband. Tribute is paid to Secret Army, on which 'Allo 'Allo! was based.

As this week's chat takes in a rare sighting of Rene's back passage and Kenn Oldfield's inspired choreography, the whereabouts of the Fallen Madonna begins to get complicated.

Welcome, once again, to Kim's kitchen, where the convivial chat covers subjects as diverse as the Colonel's vanishing pistol and Marie Antoinette's bosom.

This week's pod brings more stories and observations about Episode 5. Kim laughs at Richard being pranked in the now classic clods of earth scene, and the team fan worship Kenneth Connor – not for the last time.

Kim, Guy and Richard bring plenty more chat, stories from the 'Allo 'Allo! coalface, and some extra content in reply to a listener's message about Rose Hill and her singing. If you enjoy it, please encourage your friends to follow us.